Social Binges

We’ve all witnessed the random drunk teenager, the group of kids that smoke in secret at the back of the school or get high before class. We’ve heard them claim they’re not addicted, that if it wasn’t for the fact that their friends passed them a blunt or the party would’ve been dull without that last shot, they never would’ve started dabbling in these seemingly harmless substances. There’s always been that imaginary line in each individual’s mind that they try to never cross; however, when we’re basing our excuses on things that revolve around our cliques, what happens when our groups of friends change? Do our morals evolve with the people we spend time with? I believe this is an issue that a lot of teenagers find themselves facing. The line between what is right and what is wrong starts to blur and kids can trade in their perspective with every beer they mindlessly gulp.

I think that most teenagers who smoke every day or get drunk on the weekends aren’t truly addicted to these drugs. If we think about it, we may walk around with a cigarette at a party or play beer pong with some friends, but when we’re home alone, more often than not, teenagers won’t drink themselves into a stupor or chain smoke during homework breaks. I’ve witnessed a lot of teens lose their mind over party favors, and make unwise decisions that they regret the next day. How can we stop these young men and women who believe that they’re simply living it up in high school before they start a career, a family? Most of them seem to confuse drinking, smoking, popping a pill socially with not being addicted. The truth is, they may not be addicted now, but every time they associate having fun with doing these drugs, the further they are to appreciating the fun that can be had sober.

I am a realist, and I would definitely never preach abstinence or sobriety to a high school full of teenagers, but I do believe there’s a limit. If you are truly a social dabbler, don’t push it over the edge, and don’t try and convince yourself that it would be a lame weekend without that bottle of Smirnoff. If that state of mind carries over from adolescence into adulthood, we could create decades of unhealthy binges that are no longer a social experience, but a daily necessity.

Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous

In this economy, the number of financially stable, successful families is dwindling. The middle class is seeping into the lower class and, in rare cases, riding the wave up to the neighborhoods of the rich and the famous. We may think that these hardships cause distress to the adults responsible alone; however, the children involved are often more vulnerable, and suffer more. As a teenager, I know how vital it is to have money in your pocket: we eat on Park Street for lunch, which can cost upwards of five dollars a day. We are always looking for new, fun things to do on a weekend night, and usually that involves delving into those pockets and relinquishing our hard-earned chores money. The pressure to live up to the rich is not a figment of today’s screenwriters’ imagination; those with money are usually more well-known, more admired, since they are not stuck home on a Friday night because they couldn’t afford the newest Pixar movie.

I have had a job since the beginning of the school year, and I live off of 200 dollars every two weeks. I pay for my own food, clothes, activities - you name it, it came out of my pay check. In some ways, I’m thankful for the money: I don’t have to ask for anything, I have financial freedom and independence. On the other hand, having to pay a monthly phone bill and juggle the responsibilities of school and a social life is seriously stressful. I know there are a lot of children in my situation, so sick of splitting the family’s money between siblings and unavoidable household necessities that they decide to make their own living. But what about those who can’t handle school, work and play? How realistic is it to assume that children are going to give up a Saturday to finish that essay they couldn’t do before work?

As much as we teens hear that it is what’s on the inside that matters, we tend to be more impressed with peers who are driving the newest car, wearing the latest jacket, going out every weekend with a fistful of money they didn’t have to earn. Maybe those of us who are victims of this economy should embrace thrift stores and undesirable work hours, if only to allow us to let the outside match the inside.

To Be or Not To Be

Every day, millions of impressionable teenagers go to school only to be bullied and judged because of their sexual orientation. Being gay is not just a political issue, or something that we see on TV or hear on the radio, but never actually touches us. In actuality, a percentage of those students that sit next to us in class, or brush our shoulders in the hallways, will turn out to be gay. I had a really close friend in Alaska who was gay, and he came out in middle school; while he was very popular, he never had a boyfriend and was always excluded by the more insecure boys that went to our school. Being gay was never something he chose; it was just always a part of him. And regardless of whether you believe in nature or nurture affecting someone’s sexual orientation, he was undoubtedly gay, and suffered every day for it.

Because being gay is such a controversial topic that has the public, or more importantly older generations, either completely supportive of it or completely against it, teenagers may feel like they don’t have a say in how they feel. We can’t vote yet, and most days we don’t even have a voice strong enough to be heard. And what about those gay teens who go home every day to parents that are very clearly disgusted by the gay and lesbian community? It may be dramatically portrayed in the movies, but a lot of the drama we see is real and unintentionally based on someone’s lifestyle. There are teenagers who pretend to be something they’re not just to hold on to their parents love. It is a sad way to live, having to hide from the people who should embrace you regardless of who you are.

There are some brave people out there, who put on a façade and marry the opposite sex despite how they really feel. But I think it is braver to be who you truly are; men and women who have more opportunities and support from the community have embraced their roots. Some have undergone gender reassignment surgeries, others have bowed out of their marriages to explore those feelings they’ve always kept under the surface. I hope one day, all the students who go to school ashamed of their true feelings are brave enough to come out, and are accepted for it.

What Is Sacred, And What Is Sin

California is seen as the liberal state, the hippy state that supports legal marijuana, random tree-sitters, and most of all, the gays. When our state voted to legalize gay marriage, I thought, Finally! This country’s doing something to decrease discrimination and blur those ancient lines between what is sacred and what is sin. But when proposition eight was passed, and the gays were denied their human right to marriage, I lost a lot of faith in our society. I know that the majority of the men and women voting against gay marriage are like my grandparents, old and set in their ways. My grandpa, the Marine veteran, claims that by letting the gays marry, it takes away some of the value and significance of his own marriage. I believe that at some point in the past, more than 50% of the country thought that women were better off not voting, or blacks were better off as slaves, with almost no rights. But with each generation, the perception of what is ethically sound has been reconstructed to fit the needs of the individual, not the reigning religion or government figure.

I don’t necessarily think that people who believe gay marriage is a sin are bad people, but I do believe that they are blind-sighted to the needs of others, because they can’t relate and it doesn’t personally affect them. I believe this quote is relevant:

“They came for the communists and I said nothing, because I wasn’t a communist. They came for the homosexuals and I said nothing, because I wasn’t a homosexual. They came for the Jews and I said nothing, because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me.”

When are we going to stand up for the underdog, the ones who are deserving and rewarding but can’t fight on their own? How are we, as straight people, expected to judge alternative lifestyles? I’m white, and I have no idea what it’s like to be black: but I know that the blacks should have every single right that I do. It is astounding that with the number of people who are completely supportive of gay marriage, it isn’t yet legal. If our country is so wonderful because of our racial and religious tolerances, why can’t we learn to tolerate personal decisions like sexual orientation?

The "D" Word

My grandparents have been together over forty years, and are the ultimate couple. They are each other’s complete opposites and they have faced more trials and tribulations in their marriage than most of us could probably fathom. I look at them as an inspiration, but I know that in our generation, they are viewed as the exception. More than fifty percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, but these couples don’t just leave behind their naïve, hopeful youth, but more often than not, a child or a family that is torn apart. The question is, should we behave as our elders and stick with an unhappy marriage, praying it will all work out for the better, or should we accept defeat when we feel our marriage has ended and move on with our lives?

I guess you could say that my brother, sister and I are victims of the increasing divorce rate. Our parents were separated for two years before finalizing their divorce only months ago, and while they promised a civilized divorce, they have managed to seriously break their promise. I believe that our economy is partly to blame for the divorce rate: how is a marriage expected to work when the couple is always fighting over incomes, bank statements, the financial risks of realizing and exploring a dream of theirs? Divorce is a big problem that has many people questioning the very foundation of marriage, a life-long love that has been emphasized by classic Disney movies and Hallmark holidays.

Lately, I’ve been wondering if those Polygamist communities and Mormon families have the right idea: is monogamy a wasted cause? Growing old together is a romantic notion, but how often does this happen, not including those couples who are confined by religion or family obligation to stay in their marriage. Who actually want to be with one person, forever and always? I completely believe in marriage and the foundation of a lifestyle together, but sometimes I wonder if there are too many cheaters, beaters and non-believers in the way of every decent person finding their true soul mate.